Oh, how time flies!

As I reflect on the past decade, well even more than a decade actually. The past 13 years in which I have invested my time, my energy and my focus on building a career, following a calling and growing a charity. I sit and ponder all that it has taken for me and from me to build, Be United. The organisation that I have dedicated my life to over these past few years.

At times I have given it my all, at the expense of everything else in life. My social life, my friends, my family, my income, I poured everything into my work only to find myself feeling lost, lonely and unfulfilled.

As women are we destined or pre-programmed to do that? To be the self-sacrificing females of society who give all of themselves for their family, their friends and their work?

But what happens when we do this and find ourselves empty and alone with nothing left to give? How can we really show up and serve the world, how can we pour from an empty cup? How can we give of ourselves in the way that we strive to?

The honest truth is; that we cannot. When we're so empty, we're running on air, we have nothing left to give and we do neither ourselves, our mission, our family nor our friends justice. In fact, we cheat life and our living of it.

In 2018, I hit my version of rock bottom, I had spent the past 5 years trying to build and grow a charity. I’d poured so much into it and was still yet to see a real return, it just wasn’t quite there and I was exhausted. I was wiped out and lonely as hell; having paid the price of giving up my personal life. In return I'd made my work, my life.

I knew something had to change.

From the bottom, from falling and feeling totally flat, there lies some empowerment and some joy as surely from there, the only way is UP!

I knew a change was needed, so I became intentional, started to dream again and focused on some of the things I wanted to create in my life. I’ve always been a believer of personal development, of setting intentions, creating vision boards, dreaming and manifesting the life I wanted. In 2018 I got really serious about living these values.

The 4 stand out things I did that year:

1. I read ‘The Success Principles’ by Jack Canfield – a fantastic book that really helped me to take a proactive step by step approach to designing the life that I wanted.
2. I spent time writing down goals that I wanted to create in my life in all areas; work, friends, love, money. I wrote short term, long term and crazy out of this world goals. I dated them all and read them over and over. Then I stored them and have carried them with me as I move through life.
3. I listened to a lot of motivational talks and speeches and journaled loads. I remember listening to an online talk by Wayne Dyer and writing something he said in my diary. ‘The Universe Responds to those who Refuse to be Denied’. I repeated this over and over until it landed in my psyche where it remains to this day.
4. I created a vision board which I put up in my bedroom and looked at daily. A practice I have continued to enjoy over the years.

Those few actions done with intention helped me, guided me and brought me to my next stage of life. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t instant, in fact far from it. Really, I think it took around 3 years before I actually felt and saw my life change, but it did, hugely and in the next 3 to 4 years my life had undergone a complete 180 and I was so far from where I had been.

My career had grown, the charity was thriving and really carving its space in the Scottish creative landscape. I had new friendships and a close group of females in my life that I’d previously longed for – shout out to my ladies who are still there today!

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I had met the man of my dreams and was head over heels in love and I was back and reconnected with my family. I was happy and I felt good. My life, love and work in fact was so completely different it’s crazy to look back and see how much had actually shifted.

Work was taking off, but it was from a place of wholeness, I was no longer willing to sacrifice all other aspects of myself for my career and for my calling. I was rebuilding myself to become whole again, the funny thing is, in doing so, I built an even stronger, clearer and more ‘on purpose’ organisation. I was able to do so much more, I built a team, we secured funding and our programmes grew, everything became better because I was no longer limping, I was pouring from a full cup.

Life is full of ups and downs and from each one and through it all, we learn and we grow. Reflecting on the journey and how far I have come since founding Be United at age 22, I see the joys of the journey, I feel the pain and the celebrations and I give thanks for all of the moments that have made me who I am today as I sit here and write.

Reflecting on the past 13 years, brings me to the present. Here I am at another milestone, another fork in the road. So I ask myself

One step, I believe is this very thing you are reading. These letters, written to my future self, and to you, my dear reader. My action is to reflect on what has been, to show up and be consistent with what will come and to share it honestly and openly. In doing so I hope to create community in a new way, in a way that honours what I feel is calling me in this next season. To share more of my voice, my life and my learnings with you, my readers.

So here we are, the first letter, my first note to you and with it, my first question to you.

It is my wish and my blessing that we as women, keep coming home to ourselves, keep listening to what we need to do, keep honouring ourselves, our goals and our dreams.

I hope you find that one thing you feel called to do, to help set up your future and that you feel inspired to take action on. I hope you do something different today, that your future self will thank you for.

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Until next time your sister and your friend.

💛 Emma