The famous morning routine required to win at life, at your career and at your goals!!! Wow how freaking exhausting is this constant messaging, the toxic hustle culture and the endless need to be productive and active to be worthy and winning.

I, like so many people fall into this toxic cycle all too often, feeling guilty for taking time off or having downtime. Even my downtime can slide into this need to feel like it's productive downtime. Where I feel like rather than watching Netflix for example I ‘should’ be reading a book, 'should' be feeding my mind, 'should' using my time wisely. I find myself often ‘shoulding’ all over myself. It gets damn draining.

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When I found out I was pregnant back in January of this year, my mind went into overdrive with so many questions and considerations. ‘I’m going to be a mum, okay what does that mean for me?’ ‘What about Be United, my first baby?’ ‘Maternity leave what will that do for my career?’ ‘The world is changing so fast, if I take 9 months off where will I be?’ ‘Do I want to be a stay at home mum?’ ‘Will I loose my sense of self?’ ‘What will my identity be without work??’

This stream of endless questions kept running through my mind, coupled with the pressure of feeling like these questions ‘shouldn’t’ be running through my mind and that I ‘should’ be happy and grateful just to be pregnant and to be becoming a mum.

I'm now in month 8 and I am now excited to start a family and to step into motherhood, still I want my identity and my life to be so much bigger than only Mum. I don’t only want to be the mother of a child, I want to be a woman, I want to be sensual, sexy, I want to be a wife, a lover, I want to have a career, I want to make money and I want to show up in the world outside of my role as ‘Mum’.

As women I think we experience extra pressure in this area. It feels from the outside looking in, that it is so much easier for men to be dad whilst maintain their other individual identities. It feels like for them the shift isn’t so catatonic and all encompassing – I’m not a man, I don’t know, it just looks that way from where I stand.

Women, well, we are mighty and the pressure, I believe, is so much greater on us and my goodness did I feel it. All these thoughts and questions, the pressure I felt from myself and society to be excited about motherhood and all the 'shoulds' running through my mind, coupled with the fact I felt physically horrendous. January to March I felt sick all the time, tiredness like I’ve never known and just generally quite freaking miserable. I was really not sold on this whole pregnancy thing.

Entering my second and now third trimester, I am pleased to say that physically I feel so much better, I’m actually enjoying being pregnant and feel like I have that ‘glow’ people speak of. It’s been an incredible, humbling, spiritual and immense learning experience leading up to the birth of my new baby. I feel I’ve settled into the process more and in many ways made more peace with the fact that my life and my priorities are going to change.

In some ways I have allowed myself to pause, I have aimed to create space in my life for the new. I have certainly refined areas of my life and tried to remove a lot of the ‘busy work’ and endless projects that I seemed to have ongoing. For example, I closed down my funding consultancy side hustle, that I'd been running since 2023. I had been supporting creatives to access funding, something that I could make money from but it didn't really light me up.

In closing the consultancy, it allowed space for the new and I looked at doing more of the things that bring me joy, for joy's sake! Like writing these very letters, it’s something new, I love writing and it aligns with my desire to show up for myself and in the world, in a new way.

I feel far from ready or realised in this area, as I still find the need to be doing and making ‘progress’ and endless pull. I still find it hard to give myself the permission to really pause, rest and allow what is, to be. However, I do feel like I have reached a sense of acceptance and peace in this season and that feels very fulfilling.

This week’s letter is all about accepting and embracing the new and the now. It’s an invite for us to do the work, to slow down and let ourselves welcome the season we are in.

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I’m so close to wrapping up work, in fact as this letter lands in your inbox, I hope I will have finished work with Be United and have officially begun my maternity leave.

It is a brand new season for me with so much joy, excitement and uncertainty, it’s unlike anything that I have experienced before. Right now, I am going into it with a warm heart and an open(ish) mind. At least I have these letters that I can keep writing and releasing to maintain my identity beyond only motherhood.

Because after all, change is hard. New things can be daunting and as women the pressure seems to be never ending, to do it right, to show up correct and to make it all work. When in reality sometimes we are just paddling like crazy to stay afloat.

Wherever you are in your journey and in whatever season you are in, I hope this letter is a reminder that you are not alone. None of us have our shit all the way together. I feel you, my sister. I feel that uncertainty. I experience all those shoulds whilst still desiring to slow down, to pause and to embrace the new season.

Together as women we are powerful beyond our wildest dreams. In community, in conversation and in honest reflection we are stronger and we are better. This is my gift to you, in sharing my experiences I hope you feel seen and know that wherever you are right now, you are not alone.

And with that my friend and my sister, I sign off. I move to take it all in and to embrace this new season.

For now…I’m off stepping gracefully into maternity leave and motherhood – wish me luck!

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With all my love and rooting for you in your current season.

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Until next time your sister and your friend.

💛 Emma